A Plea For Kindness, Lenience And Mercy From The Former “Fourth Superbranch To The New Obama Administration”
Okay, so by now we’ve all heard about the big, huge so-called “debate” between the man who infamously shot a lawyer in the face on a drunken duck hunting outing and the inelegible president of the United States due to the fact he wasn’t born in America at all but WAS actually born on a tiny little island nation in the Pacific a few hundred miles off of the Southern coast of Sarah Palin’s Alaska by the name of Hawaii.
Well, the truth is, folks — this wasn’t really a “debate” at all. President Obama opined on the previous (Cheney-Bush) administration’s well-known, numerous and heinous misdeeds conducted in the name of “The War On Terr’r”, followed by a three-hour bloviation from The Sleeping Veep in another venue where he, of course, was simply singing to the choir; broadcast in its entirety, of course, by the “Fair And Balanced” Fox News team.
The Weekly Standard’s “Neocon, Exhibit A”, William “Bill” Kristol couldn’t help but to offer the text of what he surely sees as the words of a brave, patriotic, shameless chickenhawk in a whole heep of trouble former “elder statesman”. For those many, MANY huge Cheney fans, please click on the provided link. For those few of us who can’t stand the man, I’ll be happy to break it down into “GTL™ speak” — Paraphrased for thine convenience — CHENEY:
… “Thank you, thank you everybody. Please, PLEASE sit down (racuous applause). No, please, PLEASE (racous applause continues for a half hour as Dick Cheney waves, smiles and pleads for them to settle down, then patiently walks up to the podium to speak)”
“My fellow patriots of the Right Wing, I beg President Obama to stop any plans to investigate myself, my former assistant [George W. Bush], our cabinet and our advisers. We were afraid after the 911 attacks and as you know, we conservatives have been scientifically proven to frighten easily. With this in mind, we were both afraid of our Constitutional limitations and the ‘boogeymen’ out there who attacked our country and when the law is standing between a frightened Republican and a terr’ist, we are genetically coded to break the law. Thank you very much, dear fans, and thank you very much in advance, President Obama for allowing we law breakers to remain free and on the loose.”
(Thunderous applause for hours and hours well after the former Veep departs in one of his little black helicopters)
I sincerely do hope this personal interpretation has helped.
***
Some favorite blogger reax: Andrew Sullivan of The Daily Dish says “release everything” (and I couldn’t agree more); Michelle Malkin (Right) calls it “Dueling Banjos In Washington“; Our good friends at Drudge Retort are “Fact-Checking” Cheney’s AEI speech; Big Tent Democrat of Talk Left offers the video of the “Cheney-Begging-For-Mercy” (my words, not his) speech
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2:25 am on May 22nd, 2009 1
*racuous laughter* I can’t believe I listened to his chickenhawk bullsh*t, but I did, GTL, in all fairness, since I listened to Bama-Lama’s harangue earlier. I don’t know what I liked betterNOT! about the two; Bama’s restraint from an obvious urge to break out in smug, self-satisfaction chin-up grin when Bama-Lama Ding-Dongs erupted in
laudloud applause, or whenI’ll-Shoot-Ya-In Your Faceness reverted back to his sneering scowl before he choked on his words. Decisions. Decisions. Both are made from the same cloth, for what it’s worth (..they are related).12:36 pm on May 22nd, 2009 2
Have you seen the video clip that switches back and forth between President Bush speaking and Obama speaking? It was incredible, Obama is using virtually identical, word for word comments regarding various policies and programs, etc. Word for word identical to President Bush’s speeches, it is really telling. Yeah, that’s some change you’ve got going on there liberals. Either Obama is using President Bush’s speechwriters now or he just can’t think of any original ideas on his own.
Obviously the anti-Cheney rant above is highly (as in totally, completely) fictionalized (as in made up, never happened), but the Obama – Bush comparison is not fictionalized at all. It shows actual clips from a number of speeches.
It seems odd that the liberals, as much as they claimed to dislike President Bush and his policies, have not only adopted most of his policies but even the words he used to describe them!!!!!
2:07 pm on May 22nd, 2009 3
Allow me to summarize President Obama’s speech on national security. I quote:
” “
2:13 pm on May 22nd, 2009 4
Completely off-topic, but I like the new picture. It actually makes you look younger and like less of a psychopathic maniac who, if showed up at my door, would promptly have the cops called on him.
8:40 pm on May 22nd, 2009 5
Aww, thank you, A/M
As of June 1st, I am no longer a Non-Commissioned Officer in the USAF and I’m feeling slightly braver — brave enough to post a clear photo at least
9:42 am on May 23rd, 2009 6
GTL
Just for the record, I like the psycho-killer pic. I find it far more frightening that someone who appears so completely normal can have your political views. Good God man, that implies that “those” people are probably even in my town. At least before I knew who to look for could bait them out with Thunderbird and Lucky’s.
12:38 pm on May 23rd, 2009 7
When will they lock up Cheney and throw away the key. He should be in jail for so many reasons. Obama is looking more and more as a pawn for the rich just like his republican counterparts. Very disappointing, poor Americans, we just can’t find an honest person to do the right thing. We are so worried about jobs that we are blind to the wealth being created for a handful of Americans. No electric cars because it would crush oil wealth. No solar power because it would crush the electric wealth. Come on America, with change comes new jobs always, and because we are supposed to be a smarter society the jobs may be better for Americans as a whole. Just another disappointed American.
3:09 pm on May 23rd, 2009 8
Chuck!!!! Thanks for yet another laugh, my friend!