Dick “Shotgun” Cheney Puts Liberal Wacko, PBS’s Jim Lehrer, In His Place In “Newshour” Interview

Did Dick Cheney Snooze Through The Last Eight Years Or Something?

You see, when “liberal lion-in-waiting PBS interviewer”, Jim Lehrer, attempts to make his (so he believes) well-planned suprise attack upon our unsuspecting “Sleeping Veep” (Editor & Publisher), our lightening-fast “Fourth Superior But Separate Superbranch“, the sharpest, fairest Veep in our nation’s history, suddenly shape-shifts himself into a mongoose going for the throat of a “wannabe” cobra whose venom spurts out harmessly into the dirt. In other words, “Ole’ Shotgun” puts one of those pretty red DOTS between those blinded, “liberal” eyes of Mr. Lehrer simply using his WORDS as his chosen weapon…

[Paraphrased]

Lehrer: “Why does the economy suck, Sir?”

Cheney: “Thank Bill Clinton for that.”

Lehrer: “Did you make any mistakes during your tenure in the White House?”

Cheney: “Yep, I grossly underestimated how bad of a guy Saddam Hussein really was.”

Lehrer: “Even the president has admitted he has made mistakes. Is that the best you can do personally?”

Cheney: “Yep.”

Lehrer: “Why do the terrorists hate us so much?”

Cheney: “Again, you can thank Bill Clinton for that.”

Lehrer: “Polls show Americans generally hate you.”

Cheney: “That’s just a bunch of [EXPLETIVE] liberal [EXPLETIVE]! Americans understand me and love me for who I am. Try again, you [EXPLETIVE] liberal SUCKWAD!”

Lehrer: “Word has it, you’ve authorized torture techniques at times during your time in office…”

Cheney: “Nobody’s perfect.”

Lehrer: “During the invasion and occupation of Iraq, 4500 Americans have lost their lives based upon your admitted faulty intelligence. Do you think their lives were worth being wasted due to that faulty intelligence?”

Cheney: “Absolutely. No regrets. Nobody’s perfect and if they didn’t read the fine print when they signed up, they shouldn’t be whining about it.”

Lehrer: “Sir, they’re not whining because they’re DEAD.”

Cheney: “Good. This is a ‘no-whining’ zone, of course.”

Lehrer: “Where’s Osama?”

Cheney: “Who cares? He’s irrelevant.”

AMEN! That’s the way to do it, Mr. Cheney…

As I sit here typing in a quiet, neighborhood watering hole way down yonder in The Heart of Dixieland in my adopted Great (RED) State of Alabama (yep — surprisingly enough, we DO have WiFi here along with NASCAR on one of the big screens and pro wrestling on the other), I’ve PERSONALLY just taken it upon myself to conduct my own (un?)official poll and the results agree completely with our heroic Sleeping Veep’s own conclusion. I pried my bottom from my barstool, raised my Blue Moon beer, turned to the (VERY sparse) crowd and said “Cheney — Gimme a HAIL YEAH!!!“. It was UNANIMOUS. Thundering applause and a bunch of “Hail Yeah“s bounced off the rafters.

Mister Cheney is one great American patriot and I rest my case.

***

OH, and my “Must Reads” on this topic: Joe Gandelman of The Moderate Voice (“TMV”); Oliver Willis; Alan Colmes of LiberalLand; Michael J.W. Stickings of The Reaction

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